Feeling a little heartsick for my tween : (

I know that bad things happen in the world, but right now, for me,  it comes in the form of an 11 year old little girl...

Yep, I said it - an 11 year old girl.

This little girl has been in our lives since she was in kindergarten with my oldest daughter...her mother and I are really good friends (girls sleep overs, family trips to Disneyland, BBQ's, joint family trick or treating)...but, I am afraid all of that is about to end...and part of it is my fault : (

I'm the one that told her mom what a great school my kids go to and how great it would be if her kids got in too...boy was I wrong...

Since my little unique offspring doesn't fit in with the "in" crowd, her old friend has been shunning her in public because SHE fits in...it started off a bit last year, but nothing too major...we went thru our usual summer...their pool, our pool, beach, blah, blah, blah...

Enter 6th grade...and she walks by my child as though she doesn't exist, words were spoken, tears shed, mom's texted and talked and things got a little better...

Then we all went to see the Lorax together and it looked as though our little friend had been handed a poop sandwich when my daughter walked in...her mother was embarrassed about how her daughter behaved...and I told mommy how much I was actually bothered by the behavior...they weren't at school...what was the big deal..fortunately my child was pretty oblivious...or so I thought...

Enter last Friday...Mother's Day Tea before school started...

I saw their mini-van behind me at the light, my kids turned and waved and apparently a poo sandwich was served...they followed us thru the parking lot, out onto the street (everyone showed up early!) and we parked...he's where I fucked it up...we waited for them...

Nothing was "said" although I thought I witnessed something that I am not even going to go into even here...I may have been wrong...but I started observing my little love...who went from bubbly, chatty girl in the car to a hunched over, head down, mute that started walking beside us all, then out 4 feet from us, then behind us...I asked if she was ok, she shrugged...we got inside the gym, got my gerber daisy, some food and the three of us chatted and found a place to stand...all good...then my friend sees me, brings her brood over and my love clams up again...so I dry swallowed my danish and we high-tailed it out of there...visited classrooms, she assured me she was ok that everything with her friend was "normal"and I left...and cried...

"Normal" for her was accepting that her previous best friend would stand there and ignore her with a look of utter disgust on her face...I wish I was exaggerating, but I am not...I have known this girl for 7 years, wiped her tears, had her brothers and sisters puke in my presence and in containers I was holding(not just when they were babies) she wears her feelings on her face, in an obvious display for all to see...While my littlest love told me nothing was wrong, her body language was telling my something much different...she was defeated, she was sad,  she was hurting...

I know that everyone knows their child is the greatest and they are!  But I would have to challenge anyone who thinks their kid had a bigger hear t than mine does...and that's what kills me the most and makes me the most proud...she would help this little snit if she needed it and be her friend if she asked...no questions, no judgements...she would just do it.   (Not quite sure how I raised a loving, nurturing child - those who actually know me, will know that this is true - I LOVE those that are IN my life, physically and electronically, but the guest list is short)  I hope that this is a part of her character that she never loses even tho it  will be a giant burden for her to bear in this world...it is hard for me to accept that the struggles she has with learning are nothing compared to the lifelong struggle she will have just being who she is...