Who is the idiot that put me in charge?!

I really don't get it - how come I get to be "the boss"

I'm the one who:
knows where everything is
knows where it should go
knows how it got there (cause I'm the only one who puts things away)
knows where we bought it
grocery shops (unless it's an item I forgot and need picked up on the way home)
knows where the best deals are
cooks
cleans
does 97% of the laundry
takes care of my own car
takes his car into the shop sometimes (so he doesn't have to take off work)
takes kids to school
picks kids up from school
goes to school meetings
does school fundraisers
does homework
volunteers at school for 2 different teachers
pays the bills

How did I get to be in charge of all these things?  It's not that I think I do more than my husband...I honestly SUCK at a lot of these things...

My kitchen should be condemned half the time...after shopping, putting away and cooking - I don't want to stand in there for 15 more minutes to clean up.  My kitchen's footprint is 3 x 6 - that's a fucking closet and I don't want to be in it anymore except to grab a beer and for that I don't have to go all the way in...

My bed is NEVER made...laundry rarely put away...

I am inherently lazy and unmotivated...what kind of people am I raising my kids to be?  I very consciously give them a lot of physical attention...hugs, big slobbery kisses and always tell them how much I love them because I didn't get a lot of that growing up... so my kids will be slobs that know their mommy loves them...is that ok?  Or should they have a squeaky clean house and live in an emotional vacuum?

Somebody (a.k.a me) fell asleep at the helm on this one because I am just not sure my current path is the right one and at the same time I feel helpless to change it...

I have been taking baby steps and I do believe that I will get there, but I want to get there with the least amount of collateral damage...house is getting and staying cleaner (getting rid of all our extra CRAP is helping with that) but how do you motivate others when you yourself are unmotivated?  My own parents were afraid of pushing their "gifted" child too much and so they didn't push at all...i didn't have to work very hard for the things I wanted/needed because it came pretty easily...I have children that need to work hard to get what they need and I don't know how to show them to, so I just reorganize their closets instead...I am constantly creating my own chaos (messy house) to show that I can clean it up faster and more efficiently than I had previously...

I need to just clean up my messes and walk away...not try to "one up" myself with how great I can organize all the shit we own...I don't need to live in a museum, but I do need to get rid of the chaos for my girls and start living my life as a better example...

Here's to being in charge : /