What is my problem today? This week? This month? This year?
I feel like I am in wide open bitch mode...the main cause? who really knows...
The main victims? my kids : (
It's soooo easy to yell at them...they are younger than me...shorter than me...for now anyway...and they are not "allowed" to talk back...
I feel like the biggest pile of shit that has ever existed on this planet...
Who the fuck am I to pick on these guys?!
No, my children aren't perfect...they are awesome little creatures trying to figure themselves, each other and this world out just like me...I just know how much it can suck...and how unfair I am being...
To give my self a little credit and to ease your minds a bit...it's not like I yell at them a lot or too much really...it's just pretty intense when I do...fortunately, lately I have been telling them that I just need to walk away and I do...so there has been less actually mommy melt-down instances...but I hate that I have them at all...
I was raised in a house where no one EVER yelled...no one EVER raised their voice...maybe I am overcompensating for an something I was never able to do or witness...trust me, the hubby and I had plenty of issues early on in the marriage because he was "yelling" at me...he wasn't, but it sure did feel like it at the time...
I need to find balance in myself and how I deal with trying times with my girls....I know that I will make mistakes along the way in my parenting...I just don't want to permanently damage their little souls along the way : (
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