Saturday, January 2, 2016

Gearing up for 2016

Trying once again to start the new year off right.
Eating better, exercising more, blah, blah, blah...
Last year pretty much sucked ass for the most part
and quite frankly, 2016 ain't starting off so good...
So far this year, I seemed to have developed alcohol intolerance...
I am not of Asian decent, so "Asian Flush"is out,
but now, when I drink - I turn red and get hot all over...
Trust me, when I was in my 20s this probably seen as a good thing...not so much when rapidly approaching the BIG 50
How am I going to drown my grief over my father's passing, perimenopause symptoms and bemoan the fact that I have a 9 year old that acts like she's 21?!
This totally sucks - I LOVE BEER and CIDERS!!!!!
Not just drinking to drink but actually pairing my food with my drink, enjoying an adult beverage while soaking in the tub with a book, meeting with friends on the weekend to share whatever treasures were found during the week...
Looks like I will be eating healthier and exercising more now whether I like it or not...
Needs some foodgasms and endorphins...I'll look great, but don't expect me to be happy about it...
Maybe all the money I will save on alcohol can go towards a new wardrobe?!
I would take some before pics to really appreciate the after pics, but I am too pissed off...

Tuesday, October 13, 2015

Third verse, same as the first...Take this job and shove it!

Yes, once again I have quit my job...
Damn near the same one I quit the first time last year...
Then again in April...
A shit-ton of things have happened in between...
the most major being that my father passed away.
What I learned from his life and from his passing, is that I really don't have to take anyone's shit.
While I know living my life is the longest thing I will ever do,
it doesn't have to be lived in misery.
I choose what I want to wear each day, what I want to eat, what route I want to take...
why should I let some miserable bitch dictate my work life?!
Truth is - I don't have to
I live just outside San Diego, CA
Do you have any idea how many freaking jobs are out there?!
While I loved what I did and most of the people that I did it with, one person was ruining it for everyone.
I wish I was exaggerating, but 'm really not.
10 people have quit or been let go in 1's math people...
look for the common denominator and you will find it.
But, you have to look for it and actually SEE it.
A rotten apple really can ruin the whole cart.
I am going to stay home. 
Make yummy (moderately healthy) meals for my family.
Stay off of the California freeway system.
Clean and organize my house (already painted the kitchen and 1/2 the dining room)
Clip more coupons.
Buy more Groupons
Start making quilted fabric Christmas ornaments and hitting the local craft show circuit with my #1 sister in law (she was the first casualty of this war)
First day of the rest of my life starts October 22nd!

Monday, January 12, 2015

Starting over...again - Groundhog Day

New Year
New Life
New Goals
New Budget
Same old Shit
Lord, I hope not...
2014 ended in a completely shitty, fucked up...I can't believe this is happening to me kind of way...
My husband got laid off two weeks before Christmas
(did I mention he's the breadwinner- by a longshot?!)
(oh yeah - don't forget I quite my job last month,,,,)
They cancelled his insurance...for our whole family midnight the NEXT day
(yes, this while completely FUCKED up, it is completely legal)
the next day was our 22nd Anniversary...we tried to blow up our house.
Both of us were out of it and watched him wire up our new stove (gift from the parents) got it - COMPLETELY wrong
but did that stop us?!
No - we plugged that fucker in!
and then
We live in a townhouse, couldn't get to the panel outside, had to call SDG&E
They got us up and running.
Anniversary I will never forget.
2015 isn't starting off much better...
I am working some.
They wouldn't let me quit all the way, so there is a huge blessing in disguise.
Hubby has a contingency offer or employment, but not until June and it's in L.A.
No unemployment yet and they processed the kids insurance stuff but not ours even though we submitted the same day...
But - it could be worse...
My dad went into surgery on January 7th to stent around 2 aneurisms...
then he bled into his abdomen - emergency surgery
then when they checked him the next day part of his small intestine died - more surgery
they took out 15 cm of small intestine and his gall bladder
then he had an a-fib problem that was fixed today with a drip
 he's on dialysis and he keeps trying to force the ventilator tube out with his tongue
they may perform a tracheotomy of him tomorrow
guess I should stop bitching...

Wednesday, December 10, 2014

Letting it go...kind of...

I mostly left my job right before Thanksgiving...
We negotiated me down to one day and week in the office
 and working from home the rest of the week.
Guess someone finally realized that if I am not working my 10- 20 hours every week...
someone else was going to have to  do it!
It may not be much, but it will let me make my car payment and keep the kiddos in art class

Wolf in watercolors by the Boo Boo - 8 years 

Hedgehog in oil pastels by the Bubba - 14 years

And since they pretty much rock this whole art thing...
I will suck up working with a bunch of bitchy control freaks.
Actually started making real dinners, packing lunches everyday except pizza day and getting my crafty on.
Can't wait to see where all this will take me!

Friday, November 14, 2014

Channeling my inner Caddy Shack

I wanted a change...
and boy am I getting it!
It's time to be the ball...
Fulfill my own destiny...
Quit my job!
My last day will be November 25th and then I am gearing up to go into the memory quilt business!
I love to sew!
Have done it for years.
My first job was to make cording for my mom's slip cover business when I was 9 years old.
Sitting on the front porch sewing my little fingers off for a whopping 10 cents/yard!
Made Barbie clothes, my own clothes (still wear a shirt that I made as a junior in high school), blankets, basic slip covers, quilts...etc.
I have boxes of stuff set aside to make quilts for my own girls and now I am going to do it!
Besides - I need before and after shots!
Have a few friends that I am going to do quilts for here and then I'm hitting etsy!
I will never be rich
I may not even be that successful...
But I will never be disrespected in the work force again.
It has been 17 years since I last cried and work...I quit that job.
And now I am quitting this one.
Life is too short to be unhappy.
I have a father who is very ill
I have a great friend who just completed her last chemo and getting ready to start radiation...she has 3 kids and is only 37 years old.
There are so many uncertainties in life
So many things that can make can make us happy, why on earth would I willingly go out of my way to go someplace that makes me cry?
A little thing about me - I don't cry...hardly ever...the hubby jokes that I am part Vulcan. 
 I just don't do tears...
If you see my crying, it's usually because I am frustrated and can't punch anyone.
Or I am being thrown into a meeting the minute I walk in the door to be told I am being insubordinate...
when all I did was follow directions clearly laid out in an email.
I would rather save the money I spend in gas and collect cans on the side of the road for the CA CRV (5 cents each baby!)
then work in a place that chastises you for following their rules...
I need logic and that shit doesn't  make sense.

Wednesday, October 22, 2014

Take this job and shove it!

I am still alive
I am still employed
for now...
turned in my notice
and on November 25th
I am outta there...
gearing up for a new creativity fueled
etsy driven
homespun kind of lifestyle
why should I worked harder
for more hours
although the paycheck is nice
I always
end up spending it on gas, convenient groceries and fast food
when I could be
staying home
making a food plan
sticking to a budget
baking for my kids
actually doing laundry
cleaning my house
we shall see...

Thursday, April 3, 2014

Learning to balance...

Found out my big girl isn't as crooked as we thought!
Met with the Orthopedic Surgeon who is also my nephew's doc, got some x-rays, some scans and the results are in...
Leg length is only 3mm off, her knees only twist in slightly and it looks like she is done growing in her legs!
I still need results from the growth plate in her hand to see if she is really tapering off, but I have to wait for those for a bit.
Hoping that she is about done growing so there isn't a more noticeable difference in her face.
We have a physical therapy evaluation coming up to give her some extra stability with the knock knee-ness and Asperger's eval over the summer...
probably one for myself as well...
I told her that there is a good chance that I have Asperger's too...and that if I don't, I am definitely peeking over the fence...if she gets a diagnosis, I told her I would get tested too and we could get some t-shirts that say "I have Asperger's - what's your problem?!"
It would explain A LOT about my life and the way I view the world.
The Geneticist wants to do a genetic study on the family since we have 5 confirmed cases of the skeletal abnormality here in the area and then we can screen for the 4 little ones instead of waiting for puberty.  Can't tell if my little one will be pissed if she has it or pissed if she doesn't and feels left out...
I am just going to grab on to the kids when they will let me and love on them as much as I can.  Support my husband as often as I can, even though I want to throttle him half the time...
I tell most people I have three children...
Not sure if I am approaching a mid-life crisis, in the middle of one or finally just figuring out life a little bit more each day, but I am ready to start letting these guys start taking care of themselves a little bit and me taking care of them a little less...can you say control freak?!  I think you can!
It's time to let me take care of myself a little more...
This is not where I thought I would be in life, not with my current struggles...self induced, imaginary and real.  But what I have realized is that I am the only one that can truly change anything.  I can lead by example, I can communicate more clearly, but I am done waiting for everyone else to get in the car...mommy said it's time to go.
Someone else can be mommy a bit.
(and in the hubby's defense, he has been stepping it up a bit more)