Friday, August 30, 2013


It is a hope of mine that my seven year old will one day soon realize that screaming "I'm Sorry" at the top of her lungs does not an apology make
I hope she also learns that some things actually ARE her fault - and very rarely her sister's
And that she will talk to us with respect
She will not raise her voice and
she will not stomp her feet when she heads up to her room
I also hope that she figures out that when I say go to your room - that isn't the best time to ask for another chance...because she has already had 2...we go the baseball rout with 3 strikes in this house.
I have no idea where some of this behavior comes from all of the sudden...
I think she is emulating her 13 year old sister...
so that means in our house we have
a 7 year old going on 13
a real 13 year old
a dad who hates his job and works too many hours
and a peri-menopausal mom that just went back to work
oh, stated back this week too

Sunday, August 25, 2013

Almost there...

In the final stretch of Back to School prep...
Living room - clean
Bathrooms - clean
Laundry room - clean
Kitchen - mostly clean and geared up for some baking this afternoon
going to try an bake ahead and freeze some "on the go" type breakfast-y things since I know were are going to be dragging our asses the first couple of weeks
Teenager's room -clean
2nd grader's room - work in progress
she has been right there with me directing me what to get rid of for a big ol' yard sale at my friend's house in two weeks...she has a better location : )
More room for her and a couple of bucks in the meantime...everything that doesn't sell will be dropped off at the thrift store on the way home.
Will be headed back to work tomorrow as well...been working here are there as I can to get some positive cash flow, flowing...
combined with the whole house purge for the yard sale...maybe we can take a little vacation during the 1st quarter break...
I don't mind making a couple of bucks on our old stuff, but at this point I just want to get unused/unloved stuff out of our house!
Our place is 1,323 sf and it can't get any bigger since we live in a townhouse community with an H.O.A. and of course we live one of the only levels (there are 5) that don't have garages!  How can levels 1,2 and 5 have garages, but not 3 & 4?  I am tired of being an expert in shoving 10 pounds of crap in a 5 pound bag.  If we had 1 more bedroom or an actual garage, it would be a little different...maybe...we would probably just buy more crap.

Tuesday, August 20, 2013

Ready to embrace routine....

Back to school is almost here!
Get to find out who the little one gets for a teacher tomorrow night and then find out the 8th grader's schedule on Thursday.
I love that my kids are in a charter school system...but man we have to work for it.
if you don't show up to the meeting to fill out and turn in all of your paperwork and emergency contact info, you don't get their STAR tests results from previous year, don't know who their teacher is AND will lose their spot.
I honestly don't know what folks that have both parents working do around modified days, teacher work days, week long quarter breaks and so on
When I was young we went to school every day, ALL day long, had a few Federal holidays off, Christmas break (NOT Winter Break!) and Spring Break and I think for the most part turned out ok.
Now it's half day here, half day there, assemblies every time you turn around and don't forget the fund raisers!
ok, changed my mind...I'm not ready for them to go back to school.

Wednesday, August 7, 2013

Mental Illness and Heart attacks...out of the frying pan and into the fire

So my mom had to cancel her psych appointment to take my dad to the emergency room...
have I mentioned that one of the things that may have led her to "vacation" was the constant care of and fear of my dad dying at any given moment?!
His heart kept stopping and his enzymes were a little elevated, but them let him go...
he is quite famous at several local area hospitals for a variety of reasons, the most blatant one being that he is still alive. 
My mom has always been my source of information on how they are doing while my dad has always sugar coated the issue...
for example...
Dad:  I'm going in for a little procedure.
Mom:  His going to have a cow artery inserted into his forearm for dialysis
And now I have to depend on my dad for info on my mom.
he hasn't even looked at the paperwork from when she was released...we don't even know her diagnosis
my guess is bi-polar
and some of her cognitive tests indicate early signs of dementia...
so who knows, maybe her little breakdown helped them get an early diagnosis for the dementia and she can actually get some treatment that can help.
They only upside of this so far is that I am actually developing a relationship with my's a little late in coming, but I think we are both okay with that...he actually just called me while I was typing this to see if I was okay

Sunday, August 4, 2013

Trying to keep on with the keeping on..

Trying to be the little engine that could, but my caboose is dragging...
got totally shit-faced drunk on white Russians last night and then unloaded all my pent up emotional ju-ju on the poor hubby.
he took pity on me, bought me fast food this morning and disappeared with the girls for many hours to Balboa Park so mommy could recover
my mom got out of the mental hospital on Friday and is back home
talked to her this morning for a bit
going to be a long road back for her and I am not sure how to deal with it
we had a pretty rocky relationship to start with and some of her tirades did not help at all
I know she went off the deep end and was crazy, but when your mom gives you an eat shit look, tells you that she can't even look at you and then starts yelling things about me to the wall...its a little hard
I tried to describe it to my brother as it wasn't so much that she stabbed me in the heart, but bleeding from a thousand little cuts eventually takes its toll
the other part that sucks...she only got personal and nasty with me...she would repeat things to other people, make these crazy lists, try to get my 7 year old to help her sort her meds for the week and just be generally "manic" but with me she criticized my parenting, told me I was an outsider, blamed me for my father's health problems and tried to change some of our history be rewriting it in her favor...
They say you can't change stupid...well, I've discovered that you can't defend yourself against crazy and you can't "un-hear" things even if you know that someone wasn't in their right mind when they said them...