Wednesday, October 26, 2011

New Giveaway! New Sponsor! New Guest Blogger!

While I am all for someone getting paid for blogging (I mean who wouldn't want to get paid for their opinion?!)  but man I wish some of the blogs I follow would...oh, I don't know - Blog?!

I have found some interesting blogs by people being a guest on a blog I follow, but sometimes it seems that all there are...are guests...what happened to MY blogger?  What happened to what is going on in YOUR life?  What are YOU doing?!

My other "soap box moment" is blog sponsorship and the giveaways they propagate...I seriously think it's a new form of chain letter...if I follow these 17 steps and "Like" them in 12 different areas and leave a comment on their page and yours...I might get something for free...I'm really glad that MY blogger got something for free, wants to share AND gets paid by the sponsor...but multiple times a weeks?  Sometimes multiple times a day?  It gets to a point where it feels like your just showing off...I know I signed on to see what you are doing and what is going on in your life, but if I wanted commercials and talk show guests I would resubscribe to extended cable...

Tuesday, October 25, 2011

Super Sick Kid : (

So the 5 year came home from school on was a half day...all was good...until about 7 that night : (
She was running a slight fever, her cheeks were flushed, a slight cough and she was panting more than breathing...
Saturday ran the same way, but by Sunday night she hit a temp of 101.5 and was coughing more, so 1st thing Monday I made her an afternoon appointment with her pediatrician...poor little thing has pneumonia...just like that. No foreplay, no lingering illness, just fuzzy little lungs on her x-ray : (
She was pretty funny about the x-ray viewing...thought it looked gross but couldn't peel her eyes away and she is convinced that her doctor has no idea what a "real" heart looks like.  Needless to say, she prefers Hallmark's version to reality...kind of like her momma : )

Thursday, October 20, 2011

Thrift Store love....

Got off work  a little early and headed home, let the dog out to go potty, grabbed some library books and headed out!

Went by the library to drop off the old and pick up a new book I had "ordered", ran to the bank to deposit my check and realized I actually had time before I had to pick up the kids...took 40 bucks out of the ATM and headed for my favorite thrift store (Amvets)

I found 2 white quilted pillow shams that will complement what I have going on in my bedroom quite nicely for $4.95 (probably $50 each at the store!).
A brand new with tags Banana Republic men's sweater 1/2 off for $6.50 (BR tag was $59.99!) and this is for me, not the hubby : )
A Daisy Fuentes (Kohl's) top for me for work $4.95
A Karin Slaughter book for $1.49
and finally a little bill holder/attach to the wall thingy for out-going mail for $3.95 (had a $9.99 prcie tag on the back!)  I'm going to repurpose this one and bit and paint it black, of course...we'll see

And while I would love to post pictures of my latest hubby has the camera in Hawaii...Yes, for those of you keeping track...he's in Hawaii...again...oh well, wha't a girl to do?  At least he was being paid time and a half on his way out there: )

Sunday, October 16, 2011

The short end of the stick...again

So...I am taking a break from the house cleaning/purge session while my hubby is off flying to Hawaii...again...for those of you keeping track, this is his 3rd time this year.  He has a butt load of work to do once he gets into work tomorrow, but come on's Hawaii!!!!  I shouldn't bitch, I mean I do live in southern California for Pete's sake...but I guess when you live in a fantastic place, you can forget how fantastic it really is...

The up side for me in all of this is that I clean/purge MUCH BETTER when the hubby isn't around.  I can walk away from a mess, surf the web, blog, read...whatever and not feel pressured to get it finished up quickly.  I am trying to get everything the way I want it and that works well for us and purging the house in the meantime for a homeless outreach project the 6th grade is participating in  : )

My sixth grader struggles in school and is having a hard time focusing at home so I am redoing her room with a less is more kind of approach.  Storing things in plan sight in the many, many boxes my mom bought her (they had the same design theme)  and storing away some of the things that she has outgrown but doesn't want to give to her sister or part with.  She hasn't been using the electronic drums, so I think I will make a slipcover type object for those.  You know how when your driving and you "just happen" to look at the odometer when it has a pattern or rolls over?  Our eyes see everything and just let our brain in on the the good and interesting stuff and I am just trying to get rid of some of the "static" in her room.  Her room looks a lot bigger and I am hoping stays cleaner can only hope...

The little one's room will be a lot more challenging and I will be working on my own personal "Sanford and Son" disaster bedroom when they are asleep...I'll pop in a dvd and start going thru the piles of crap that have been accumulating on either side of the bed...the closet and the dressing area...

Oh well, I have 6 days to get it done...gonna try for 4!!!!  Wish me luck!

Friday, October 7, 2011

Working for a living...there's a reason they call it work

I wouldn't do this shit for free and I don't call it fun.

My hat is off to all you mothers out there that work full time, go to school, do anything outside the maintenance and well being of your children.  How do you friggin' do it?!  Yes, being a stay at home mom is the most difficult job I ever had...but combining that with a 20+ hours a week job the opposite direction from home and school is going to kick my butt in a serious way.  It's a butt kicking I needed and I am hoping in the meantime the size of my actual butt will decrease from all the running around, we can actually put money in the bank and put away the plastic.  Get rid of some debt, get rid of some weight and just get my shit together.

I work extremely well under certain types of stress.  I will not have the time to put off cleaning/organizing and purging my home.  I am going to spend most of this weekend finalizing each room of the house and getting them the way I want and then that's it...dusting, vacuuming, laundry and grocery shopping only from now on. 

I have fallen into the rut of cleaning the kitchen the day after I make 3 square meals...while I'm trying to make the next days feasts...I am going to have clean as I go from now on...not going to have time to clean shit up.  I know that I am not a great self-motivator and I have been creating messes and organizational disasters in my home so that I have something to "fix"  so I can see something that I accomplished.  Unfortunately this way of life also leads me into depression and then I don't want to clean up the mess around me that I created...vicious circle that I no longer have time for...I'm going to get my pretty, clean house back and I am going to ask the gang of monkeys that live here to help me take care of it.

I am still at stay at home mom...I just have a job that pays while the kiddies are in school.

On the job front note:  They asked me to come back for 2 weeks and work as much as  I could...5 days into it I was asked if I would stay and work up to 30 hours per week and given a big ol' raise!!!!!  I said yes : )
I know my family loves me, but they don't always appreciate me.  It has been nice to know that people do appreciate me and my abilities and are willing to put their money where their mouth is : )

Sunday, October 2, 2011

Thank you Simon and Garfunkel

I am a rock
I am an island

Well this much of the song anyway...

After my "Mommy doesn't love me" fit yesterday, I had an was after I drank a bottle of myself : )

I may not be the first choice in everyone's life...hell, anyone's life at this point...this is not another pity party

What I AM is the one that people turn to when they need someone they can count on or are in need and I figure that I am ok with this.  You cannot build a house on sand, you need a rock, you need a strong foundation.  I AM that rock : )

Saturday, October 1, 2011

Family issues

Soooo, I have Mommy issues...
If anyone could see me, my brother and my mother in the same room, you would understand...he's the favorite.  I have spent 37 of my last 42 years with this knowledge and while it has totally SUCKED for most of my formative years, I have pretty much come to terms with it in my adulthood.  That and the fact that I moved 2,000 miles away from home helped too.

While I could take up endless amounts of time and energy giving example after example of how this is true it just simply isn't worth it.  I know it's true, my husband knows that it's true and anyone that has spent more than 10 minutes in a room with the 3 of us can usually tell too.

It's just that it seems as if my problem is becoming bigger and is now including new players : (

Now my 2 cousins (brother and sister that have a HORRIBLE father) come down to visit my parents with their kids.  And I feel like a bitch for even getting grumpy about it, their father is pretty much a monster and my parents have stepped up and are being Grandparents for their little ones, and for this I am grateful.  Here comes the but....But I don't want the play by play of everything she did for them or everything she did with them or how my cousin is going to remodel her house and wants my mom to come up and help with organizing and how my cousin will pay for her plane ticket and a spa day. 

A little side note is that I have not had a full time job in almost 12 years and we are perpetually broke.  My husband and I decided that we would rather be broke and take responsibility for screwing up our kids than to hand that over to someone else to have all the fun.  Granted we would have a shit-ton more money but this is the path we chose.  My parents pay for us to come home 2-3 times a year so they can see the kids and I truly am grateful...I go home so my kids can have a relationship with their grandparents and so I can see my folks.  And be reminded of why I don't live there anymore.  Once my youngest is in 1st grade I will be seeking employment or starting a little something/something of my own.

I also have a cousin in Texas from the other side of the family that my mother truly enjoys and compound that with the fact that this cousin is the child of her frenemy big sister and we have a match made in heaven.

My father and I have a pretty good  He wasn't really around when I was a kid, but it was because he was out working two jobs and partying hard on the weekend.  It was the 70's...who could blame him.  Any dad likes to know what is going on out here so I call home everyday...yep, everyday.  But, you guessed it, I talk to my mom.  Dad is at work or asleep when I call, but he wants the update everyday.  So, while I understand that it's a daily occurrence for my mom, I would still like a little call waiting respect.  I am the one 98% of the time using up my minutes or running up my bill.  If I call and she is on the phone with a cousin, she wants to call me back...if she is on the phone with me and a cousin calls, she wants to call me back.  While part of me is a big girl and understands that I can get a call back, the other part of me wants my mommy to pick my phone call over theirs.  I swear it takes me back to being 9 years old and hearing my mom tell me to go to bed while she and my younger brother are snuggled up on the couch watching M.A.S.H. and listening my mom laugh and them talk on the other side of my wall.  It's the younger kid supposed to go to bed first?!

So, while I have a "why doesn't Mommy pay attention to me too" fit every once in a great while...I have a bigger problem.

Grand kids...

I have had some pretty big periodic fits over the years and brought up to my mom and my dad  and my brother (together and separately) how I feel about the obvious imbalance of attention and affection and my mom truly does recognize the problem and does feel really guilty.  She does try to change for a while, but she always reverts to what feels natural to her.  I can't really blame her, it's who she is.  I am a big girl and I can handle it...however my children are not big, nor will they understand.

My mother's world revolved around my oldest, in addition to me coming home with her 3 times a year, my mom would come out here twice a year...until my brother had a child...

Come on, you knew it was  coming. 

But let's go back 10 years, shall we?!  When Miss A was 13 months old I sat my mom down and had a little heart to heart talk about the way I felt growing up and that while it was not the best way to build myself worth and self esteem (they both suck by the way), it was a done deal and there was nothing to be done to go back and change it.  I am who I am and I decide who and what I become.  HOWEVER, I can control her access to my child/future children.  I told her that if her relationship with my current child (and any future children) changed AT ALL once my brother reproduced that I would cut her out of their lives.  I can't have my kids growing up wondering what they could do to have grandma love them the way she does the other kids or wonder what they did to make her not love them so much anymore.

Enter my current brother has 3 little girls and when they walk in the door, my mother flips a switch and goes into "little girl" (my 2 are the "big girls") mode.  She pretty much ignores my kids and follows the little ones around like she was on a leash.  The adult part of me knows she does this because they are my brother's children and the other part is that although they live about 5 miles away, my sister in law pretty much restricts Mom's access to practically nothing.  She spends more time with my kids than his, and my brother pretty much only brings them over for more than 20 minutes at a time only when I am there.  And no this isn't in my mind, different people that have been over when the troop arrives have said that they see a definite change in her behavior and ask how my kids became so invisible so fast and wonder why all of the sudden mine can't do anything right and seem to get on Grandma's nerves when they interact with their cousins...

I know logically why things happen, but there is still this little girl inside that wants her mommy to love her and think she's special and not ditch her on the phone because something better has come along : (