Saturday, December 8, 2012

One a day...

Just scrolling thru Pinterest and had an
brain fart?
Not sure yet.
Not even sure it will last past today
(very rollercoaster-y and period driven today)
I want to finsh the house purge
(3 more boxes leaving the house today!)
get everything in it's place so that I dont have to have Pinterest-envy any longer
I sit back and think
IF I could get to my jewelry findings - I could make that
IF I could get to my scrapbook paper _ I could do that
IF I knew where "this" was or "that" was hiding - I could bake that
I would love to be able to get one thing done...
Not necessarily a "project"
I am talking keeping it simple
Like putting away laundry
doing last night's dishes
laying out tomorrow stuff for the kids
I could get a feel good project done
once a week?
maybe I should bind the quilts I made this summer first...

C'est la vie

Lately when I find myself caught up in all of the juju that life is throwing at me,
 I look at this picture...

I have it on the computer and on my phone so I can gaze on the go.
And I relax...
just a little bit
and remember what this day was like
and try to remember to LIVE in this moment, not just wait for it to go by for the next one, that might be better, might be more exciting, might have more to offer
the next moment might be gone.
I am feeling beyond melancholy today...
spent the last two days going through old video of my kids to put together a DVD for my dad as a gift this Christmas.
Last year we actually surprised him with a flat screen tv...can't top that this year so I might as well give him something to watch.
When did so much time go by?
They were soooo little
sooo cute
got along sooo well
and were well behaved.
Thank you puberty for screwing up my life again : (
Who knew this shit could bite you more than once AND be more painful living with someone going through it.
Makes me feel bad for my mom
(kind of explains the nervous breakdown she had when I was 16)
And makes me feel worse for me since by the time my second one starts changing, I should be in full blown menopause.
I though I was being mature, responsible and wise when we decided to wait to have kids...must have burned too many brain cells at Sluggo's in the past and fried the part of my brain that could do math and predict future consequences of my actions.
C'est la vie

Monday, November 12, 2012 what big teeth you have...

Also known as
What goes around...comes around...
Bites you in the
Had an issue at work with probably the most ineffective person I have seen in a long time (seriously, how can it take 1 year to train someone to do a job?  I came back after being gone for 11 years, to a whole new computer system and had itdown in like 2 days) say that she
"didn't want to be like Paulette"
(that's me by the way...)
guess what?!
I have a job and she doesn't...
I don't want to see anyone lose their job, but it would have been the same if she never came in and we just sent the checks to her house...and it was never her fault...never got anything done and she was way too busy, but never did can you not invoice your customers for an entire month...
two months in a row?
Invoices don't go out...lights don't stay on
circle of life
Business Edition

Saturday, October 27, 2012


Thank you Lord for my kids Charter School...their 1st Quarter break this coming up week...Hawaiian airlines miles (from hubby's business trips last year) and Hilton Honors points (again, courtesy of the hubby)
The family is headed for Hawaii!!!!!!
We need this soooo bad.
Hubby has been working 65 hour weeks and is on salary so only gets paid for 40
Our health insurance rates are going up $400 a month
Our coverage is going down
I have been working home and being home less
Our house is a mess (trying to fix that before we leave)
The kids miss their dad during the week and are afraid of me and how grumpy I have become since I became a "work widow"
We can't find anything
And any benefit of me making some extra $$$ is totally blown be tired mommy buying convenience food and eating out
So, we are using this trip as a clean break from our reality and hoping to come back relaxed and refreshed
the Hubby told me that he is prepared to take the girls off on adventures by themselves so that I can sit and be on the beach, pool or wherever I need to be
More than once if necessary
I LOVE this man!!!!!

Tuesday, October 9, 2012

Life in the single-parent hood

I am still married,
he has been working CrAZY-ASS hours since June 4th
and is almost NEVER home
cue the violins and sad clown faces
I would put up an image of a sad clown face, but that shit is scary!
Over the summer it wasn't too bad...
pool time for us
hot dogs or hamburgers for dinner
stayed light until 8:00
Middle school homework, 1st grade homework
Brain Highways work
my own bring home work
running out of milk
running out of patience
running out of booze
and the best part...
his "promotion" to manager
has turned into a $10/hour paycut because he is on salary and
DOES NOT get compensated for extra hours

Wednesday, September 19, 2012

This is a is only a test...

That sound you hear...
it is not a test of the emergency broadcast system...
it is a test of my patience...
My six year old daughter decided it would be a good day to see just how far she could push me.  She ended up pushing herself right out of dessert and me straight to the wine rack....

Sunday, August 26, 2012

Last day of summer vacation

All gone.
Bye. Bye.
Tomorrow I pack up the 1st grader and 7th grader for some brand new educational adventures.
Bummed that they are going to be on two different campuses, but glad that Miss A will get more of a "Jr. High" experience and not feel like she got dumped on another planet when she starts high school.
  Well, any more that she will anyway.  Makes me feel bad for all those kids that went to St. Mary's (private Catholic school back home) that only went thru 8th grade and then got dumped into the piranha infested pool called high school.
I will head back to work with a bigger load, but with my flexible schedule firmly in place.  Going to be in the office for 5 hours a day, but going to take every Friday off.
(And whatever bizarre juju the school calendar kicks out at me.)
The house got mostly purged, and mostly organized, I finished 90% of two quilts...we went to the beach, the creek, some tourist attractions and lots of pool time.
When all is said and done...Not a bad summer: )

Thursday, August 16, 2012

I always forget the "before" shot...

I always get so wrapped up in a project that I forget to take the obligatory "before" shot.  I should want to preserve how ugly, outdated and junked up something looked before I worked some magic on it....but I almost never do.
Even when I "do" it's usually because I had 2 of an item :)

What once was lavender with white daisy shaped hardware now looks like this...

The hubby says it looks like it's smiling...
All I know is that I have a new place to hide stuff in the living room!

It actually shows our trip out here to California in 1992...we started off in Florida (top drawer)  and drove the I-10 to I-8 to southern California (bottom drawer)

No wonder it's smiling : )

Wednesday, August 15, 2012

Spring cleaning in the summer, during a heat wave...

I have officially lost my mind
again : )
Decided to kick ass and take names in the cleaning organizational realm...
while the girls are trapped inside with me and its over 100 degrees outside.

Never said I was smart.

Our two main groups of friends are down for the count medically speaking (1 ear infection and 1 tonsillectomy) so they can't swim with us and if I was the betting sort (just can't bring myself to do it after taking statistics in college) my kids will last about 20 minutes together in our community pool without their friends to entertain them.

so, I will grab my Dr. Pepper, my Brain Highways literature and bravely hike down one level and let the monkeys have some water time while mommy caffeinates and catches up on her reading.  This will either wear them out and they will remain mostly silent while mommy continues her journey through the house with her magic eraser OR they will get on each others nerve even more (probably not even possible at this point) whereas mommy will forgo cleaning and start drinking.

It's not a great one, but at least it's a plan.

Tuesday, August 14, 2012

No good deed goes unpunished

So, I thought it would be a great idea to take some of the DVDs that my girls have outgrown or just don't watch anymore and take them to my mom's house to "update" her collection a bit...
this way they would have a few different things to watch when we were there...or when my cousin visits with her twins...about 25 movies.

Watching "The Might Morphin Power Rangers" from 1991 on VHS was getting a little old for my kids...

So, of course my mom goes out and buys a DVD wallet for them
takes them over to my brother's house and gives them all to his kids


Friday, August 10, 2012

The past keeps crawling up my behind...


How do you put the past behind you when it keeps rearing it's head in your present?

Disclaimer:  I am on my period, I suffer from PMDD and no longer on meds for it AND I have a migraine today.

Sooooo, idiot me decides to call my mom...I call home everyday.  Mostly because Dad wants to know what "his girls" are up to.  I also like to know what is going on with them and this way Dad gets his "fix" and Mom can go thru her laundry lists of things she's done and I know that they are OK...


my brother was there when I called...

Which basically means I get ignored and she is completely disinterested in anything I have to say because in paying attention to me, she might miss something that the golden child says.  Also, my father cannot be interrupted for 5 minutes to talk to me during these visits...not because he doesn't want to, but because she doesn't tell him it's me on the phone...

Now, you may say that I am exaggerating or that I am being hypersensitive.  One of my sister's in law told me a few years ago that I need to let the past go and just move on....

easier said than done...

Example #1:

While visiting in July, I was on my cell phone in the back part of the house when my husband asked, "Did your brother just walk in the front door?"  To which I responded "How the hell did you know that?"  He said "The tone of your mother's voice just changed.  I could hear her perk right up".  It's true...and you can almost see the little hearts floating off of her head.  (I have had more than 1 person notice my mom's change in behavior when he shows up for a visit)

Example #2:

Again while in Florida this July, my mother took my 2 girls shopping to get them a toy or 2...while they were gone my brother called to say he was bringing 2 of his girls over...I told him mom was out with my girls, but they would all be back soon, but come on over...
He called my mom on her cell phone, she cut the shopping trip short and brought my girls home and said they would go out again later...have I mentioned that I live 2,000 miles away from my parents and that my brother lives 5 miles up the road?  Or mention how annoyed my mom was getting at my 6 year old who kept asking when they were going to go back and get her a toy?!

When I was a little kid, I went to bed at 8:00 so I could be ready for school...I would go to bed and my mom and brother would snuggle together on the couch and watch M.A.S.H. together...

have I mentioned that my brother is 5 years younger than me?

The more things change the more they remain the same...
just wish the results were different

Wednesday, August 8, 2012

On the road again....

Actually, building highways...brain highways...

It's a program that I am doing with my oldest and going to do with my youngest...called - Brain Highways (goggle it - it's pretty cool) a friend of my did it with her "autistic" son and now he is off all medication, being tested for the GATE program and attending regular public school.  He is kind of a poster child for the program with those who know them.  If I hadn't know the "old" child, I would have never guess that this was the same kid.

It is a TON of work, but she's my I do the work.  Last night I sucked and didn't do any of the work with her tho...feel like a total loser : (  We will double up tonight!

Went back to work for a couple of hours yesterday and will probably try to get some time in next week too.  It's  nice to be appreciated, but it's also nice to sit by the pool...

Going to make sure I don't overextend myself this time too...taking all Fridays off!  So, volunteer work at school will have to be on Fridays, work from home or field trips.  I am way too old to have so much of my shit not together - so I am making myself take the steps to change it!

Friday, August 3, 2012

On being a 43 year old teenager...

So at this stage in my life...
(age 43)
You would think that I would be over most of my "mommy" issues
Not that I am a mommy, but that I have one...
and I lived with her, my dad and my 2 kids for the past 4 weeks...

I borrowed my dad's car, stole some of his cigarettes and went to meet my old high school friends and drink beer...felt like I was 17 again...
when I had to cook breakfast (not everyday), lunch and dinner (most days), take care of my kids and do laundry while my mom took a nap...
Don't get me wrong, I didn't show up and expect her to take care of my kids, but one of the tasks I took on while I was there was specifically so she could help me...
I signed my oldest up for a program called Brain Highways to help with some focusing issues she has to help her get ready for 7th grade - the catch?!  I also have a six year old...
So the plan was, I start the program and while we were working it, my mom would entertain the 6 year old...
not really what happened...
She would go lay down, sometimes in the playroom, where - you guessed it - all the toys were!
I know I sound like an ungrateful bitch or teenager, but I just need to vent a bit.

There are a lot of little things that happened and some not so little things...none of them matter in the long run, I just need a bitch, a break, a drink and a vacation from my vacation...

Monday, June 25, 2012

Summer of...

I just don't know....

I have a lot of "goals" this summer.  First of all, spending time with my family!  Spending an extra week this visit since my dad has been pretty sick.  We were going to throw a road trip to Pennsylvania to visit my grandma, but Dad has been too sick...don't want to get too far away from his doctors...or be stuck in the middle of Amish country when his blood pressure hits 200/140.

Every summer I seem to get stuff done for my folks...which I totally don't mind, but I always come home a little frustrated because what I do at their house is what  Iwant to do at MY house...if I had 4 weeks off and 24/7 child care/entertainment and someone else doing the grocery shopping and cooking - my house would be sooooo organized and soooo revamped.  But I always come home to what I left...

I have had great success in getting projects done here ...but there is  never enough am taking the girls' rag quilts that I was working on and finishing them at my mom's house...why should I bust my ass to get something done here when I am going to be looking for things to do while I am there (once I washed the entire outside of their house with a box of magic erasers)  I am also going to finish a scarf  I started crocheting and going to go wild on Pinterest and ship whatever I make back home.

I am going to try new recipes, visit old friends, go to a few low key 25 year class reunion events (yes, I am old) and maybe make some new friends and work with my children on a project called Brain Highways.

Bottom line, I am going to enjoy my parents, help them when they ask and get some things done for me and my girls.

I hope everyone has a great summer : )

Monday, May 28, 2012

Getting back on track

I have spent the last 4 days around the house in a bit of a blah mood...not sad, not mad, definitely not motivated...just kind of existing...until today....

The Mother in Law called and asked if she could take the girls out for lunch - YES!!!!!  Hubby was at work...again, the poor man, 31 hours of OT in 7 days...hope he lives to help spend it ; )

So with the house pretty much emptied...I sat on my ass and read a bit, then it hit me... my oldest is going to camp next week and I haven't done a damn thing to get ready for her room make over : (  I was going to take the week off, but since the "promotion" at work and more people counting on me, I can't take the whole week  I started sorting fabric, checking my "likes" on pinterest and sewing together squares for the girls' rag quilts...I did buy the paint the other day...

Let the count down to make-over begin!!!

Friday, May 25, 2012

School's not quite out...

Sooooo, while I LOVE my girls' charter school...I do not love that they have 4 days off, 4 weeks before school gets out : ( 

Can't they just stay in during this time and get out 4 days early?!  On top of that - 6th grade camp is coming up so my 6th grader has Thrusday and Frieday off this week, Monday and Tuesday next week and then spends all of the following next week at camp to come back for 8 more days of school...only 1 full week on campus out of 5...i'm having a hard time keeping up....

Work is getting crazy...crazy good, but still crazy...I was asked to work even more hours and given a big ol' raise : ) Prayer works people!!!!!  AND on top of my raise, my husband applied for and got a manager's position...with...a big ol' raise!!!!!  This couldn't have come at a bettter time : )  I have not had a full time job (still don't) since February 2000 and while I have worked here are there in between...we have largely suplemented our income with Visa, Mastercard and American Express...and once the girls are out of school for the summer, I will stop working until they go back in August.  It's a choice we made, but it's going to be nice to try and fill our huge hole of debt with a small beach shovel instead of the teaspoon we have been using : )

Sunday, May 6, 2012

Feeling a little heartsick for my tween : (

I know that bad things happen in the world, but right now, for me,  it comes in the form of an 11 year old little girl...

Yep, I said it - an 11 year old girl.

This little girl has been in our lives since she was in kindergarten with my oldest daughter...her mother and I are really good friends (girls sleep overs, family trips to Disneyland, BBQ's, joint family trick or treating)...but, I am afraid all of that is about to end...and part of it is my fault : (

I'm the one that told her mom what a great school my kids go to and how great it would be if her kids got in too...boy was I wrong...

Since my little unique offspring doesn't fit in with the "in" crowd, her old friend has been shunning her in public because SHE fits started off a bit last year, but nothing too major...we went thru our usual summer...their pool, our pool, beach, blah, blah, blah...

Enter 6th grade...and she walks by my child as though she doesn't exist, words were spoken, tears shed, mom's texted and talked and things got a little better...

Then we all went to see the Lorax together and it looked as though our little friend had been handed a poop sandwich when my daughter walked in...her mother was embarrassed about how her daughter behaved...and I told mommy how much I was actually bothered by the behavior...they weren't at school...what was the big deal..fortunately my child was pretty oblivious...or so I thought...

Enter last Friday...Mother's Day Tea before school started...

I saw their mini-van behind me at the light, my kids turned and waved and apparently a poo sandwich was served...they followed us thru the parking lot, out onto the street (everyone showed up early!) and we parked...he's where I fucked it up...we waited for them...

Nothing was "said" although I thought I witnessed something that I am not even going to go into even here...I may have been wrong...but I started observing my little love...who went from bubbly, chatty girl in the car to a hunched over, head down, mute that started walking beside us all, then out 4 feet from us, then behind us...I asked if she was ok, she shrugged...we got inside the gym, got my gerber daisy, some food and the three of us chatted and found a place to stand...all good...then my friend sees me, brings her brood over and my love clams up I dry swallowed my danish and we high-tailed it out of there...visited classrooms, she assured me she was ok that everything with her friend was "normal"and I left...and cried...

"Normal" for her was accepting that her previous best friend would stand there and ignore her with a look of utter disgust on her face...I wish I was exaggerating, but I am not...I have known this girl for 7 years, wiped her tears, had her brothers and sisters puke in my presence and in containers I was holding(not just when they were babies) she wears her feelings on her face, in an obvious display for all to see...While my littlest love told me nothing was wrong, her body language was telling my something much different...she was defeated, she was sad,  she was hurting...

I know that everyone knows their child is the greatest and they are!  But I would have to challenge anyone who thinks their kid had a bigger hear t than mine does...and that's what kills me the most and makes me the most proud...she would help this little snit if she needed it and be her friend if she questions, no judgements...she would just do it.   (Not quite sure how I raised a loving, nurturing child - those who actually know me, will know that this is true - I LOVE those that are IN my life, physically and electronically, but the guest list is short)  I hope that this is a part of her character that she never loses even tho it  will be a giant burden for her to bear in this is hard for me to accept that the struggles she has with learning are nothing compared to the lifelong struggle she will have just being who she is...

Thursday, April 12, 2012

Getting this done!

So, I am almost finished with the "Pinkalicious" it is before:

And after:

removal of wall border
Pepto bismol paint on the walls
painted the closet
primed and painted head and foot boards
2 coats of primer and spray paint on shelves
2 coats of primer and 2 coats of paint & fabric on drawer/door fronts of armoire
2 coats of primer and 1 coat of paint on bookshelf
2 under amoire boxes made out of our Nikon box cut in half for Lalaloopsy & Build a Bear clothes

Here she is taken at about the same angle

Still have a pile of crap in the center of the room to sort, the closet to finish, purchase, paint and install crown moulding and I have started a rag quilt for both of the girls...sleepy time now...

Tuesday, April 10, 2012

Operation Redecoration - day 2...

So far....

Bedroom is 90% painted pepto bismol pink
IKEA floating shelves - 2 coats of primer then spray painted white
Armoire - 2 coats of primer, 2 coats hi-gloss bright white - 1 door covered in fabric...3 more to go
Closet painted with left over paint from past, at least now the holes are filled in and it's not navajo white
Head and foot board of bed, primed and spray painted white
thrift store bookcase - 2 coats of primer and 1 coat of hi-gloss white

I am tired...but trying to beat the rain that is supposedly on the agenda for tomorrow

Friday, April 6, 2012

Whose idea was it to redecorate? oh yeah...mine...

Stupid girl...I blame it all on pinterest.  That and the fact that my 12 year old "tween" now wants a new room design...which means the 6 year old wants her a piece of that as well...and hey, doesn't the raggedy old shelf in the bathroom need a new coat of paint...what about the bright yellow and blue bins I swore I would paint black, etc., etc...

I am still, sorting, organizing and decorating and I have been working 30 hours weeks at my "part time" job...this is a bit of a bonus tho since I have not had a car payment since 2002...and I would like to get out of the self-induced, stay at home mommy, living in southern California financial HELL we managed to get ourselves into...our choice...we will always have some form of debt, but only get one chance to really raise  mess up our kids up ourselves...

I should take "before" pictures, but that ain't gonna happen...just have to refer to previous posts : )

Friday, March 30, 2012


YES!!!  Finally a day off that I can spend doing hte things that I want/need to do (that laundry ain't gonna wash itself!) 

In anticipation of having today off, I started cleaning last night so I could swing a little bit more to the "me" side of today : )

So, I have waled with a friend because I am totally out of shape, hit 2 Walmarts, Michaels, Home Depot and the Salvation Army...gonna hit Kohl's Lowes and another thrift store before pick up time : )

My baby steps goal of cleaning/purging this house is still ongoing...I actually have cleared space on shelves and gained closet space...this house can't get any bigger, so I can only work with what I have.

I have decided during this process to redo the girls' rooms...but I have to finish the whole house first...before the 1st week of oldest will go to 6th grade camp that week and we want her to come back to a surprise...and since the Kindergartner will be stuck with me and missing her sister - there is no way I can get away with only doing one room.  Oldest is getting a "fashion" themed room with a tiny bit of French flair...nothing too campy or diva-like, but I did pick up a black wire dress form that I am in love with...she hasn't had a full room makeover since we moved in 9 years ago and the comforter she picked out before that we added too a bit just isn't working...I am going English Garden for the little one because I found 2 bird cages at the thrift store...I am even attempting my first quilts...rag quilts for each of them...started cutting the fabric last night...this way I can get rid of some of my scrap fabric and old clothes and I can control the price a bit and buy more paint and accessories!  Should be able to get both of the rooms done for under $250...I already have a few key elements for fashion room and bird cages and white wicker accents for garden

I have to remember to do "before" pics...

Friday, February 24, 2012

Zero to bitch in 4.3 seconds

What is my problem today?  This week?  This month?  This year?

I feel like I am in wide open bitch mode...the main cause?  who really knows...

The main victims?  my kids : (

It's soooo easy to yell at them...they are younger than me...shorter than me...for now anyway...and they are not "allowed" to talk back...

I feel like the biggest pile of shit that has ever existed on this planet...

Who the fuck am I to pick on these guys?! 

No, my children aren't perfect...they are awesome little creatures trying to figure themselves, each other and this world out just like me...I just know how much it can suck...and how unfair I am being...

To give my self a little credit and to ease your minds a's not like I yell at them a lot or too much's just pretty intense when I do...fortunately,  lately I have been telling them that I just need to walk away and I there has been less actually mommy melt-down instances...but I hate that I have them at all...

I was raised in a house where no one EVER one EVER raised their voice...maybe I am overcompensating for an something I was never able to do or me, the hubby and I had plenty of issues early on in the marriage because he was "yelling" at me...he wasn't, but it sure did feel like it at the time...

I need to find balance in myself and how I deal with trying times with my girls....I know that I will make mistakes along the way in my parenting...I just don't want to permanently damage their little souls along the way : (

Thursday, February 23, 2012's not for the weak...

I only have a part time job, but boy is it kicking my butt...

I appreciate the fact that I HAVE a job, work with people I really like AND I REALLY LIKE what I do...I am a glorified "office Bitch" but I am damn good at it and it works for us all...Basically the job I left 12 years ago to be a stay at home mommy needed help...not enough work to bring in a full timer, but too much for the crew they the office manager (who also happens to be my favorite sister in law) called and asked if I would be interested...they knew I could do the job, would only require a refresher on how things get done now and that I would sacrifice a big ol' wage for the flexibility of staying home with sick kids/volunteering at school, etc. when I needed to

It is a TOTAL win-win situation : )

It also doesn't suck having a paycheck every week either...but boy is the housework and the meal planning here suffering greatly.  I am so tired after running kids to school, going to work, coming home to pee and let the dog out before I jump back in the car to go pick up kids...then they start immediately start asking for food and if we can go do something...ummmm - no!  Homework, dinner, baths and bed please.

I know I will get into a rhythm that works for us all, but lately when I do have a day off, I just sit around and stare at the walls about, surf the web and hit the thrift stores...and now that I am on pinterest...yikes!

Tomorrow I have a full day off, going to sign my kinder up for after school care, have breakfast with my friends, hit some thrift stores and some 99 cents only stores, grocery shop and come home and try and get a meal going in the crock pot with fresh ingredients and just keep going with the baby steps of purging and is getting better, but I grow impatient...

Sunday, February 12, 2012

Who is the idiot that put me in charge?!

I really don't get it - how come I get to be "the boss"

I'm the one who:
knows where everything is
knows where it should go
knows how it got there (cause I'm the only one who puts things away)
knows where we bought it
grocery shops (unless it's an item I forgot and need picked up on the way home)
knows where the best deals are
does 97% of the laundry
takes care of my own car
takes his car into the shop sometimes (so he doesn't have to take off work)
takes kids to school
picks kids up from school
goes to school meetings
does school fundraisers
does homework
volunteers at school for 2 different teachers
pays the bills

How did I get to be in charge of all these things?  It's not that I think I do more than my husband...I honestly SUCK at a lot of these things...

My kitchen should be condemned half the time...after shopping, putting away and cooking - I don't want to stand in there for 15 more minutes to clean up.  My kitchen's footprint is 3 x 6 - that's a fucking closet and I don't want to be in it anymore except to grab a beer and for that I don't have to go all the way in...

My bed is NEVER made...laundry rarely put away...

I am inherently lazy and unmotivated...what kind of people am I raising my kids to be?  I very consciously give them a lot of physical attention...hugs, big slobbery kisses and always tell them how much I love them because I didn't get a lot of that growing up... so my kids will be slobs that know their mommy loves that ok?  Or should they have a squeaky clean house and live in an emotional vacuum?

Somebody (a.k.a me) fell asleep at the helm on this one because I am just not sure my current path is the right one and at the same time I feel helpless to change it...

I have been taking baby steps and I do believe that I will get there, but I want to get there with the least amount of collateral is getting and staying cleaner (getting rid of all our extra CRAP is helping with that) but how do you motivate others when you yourself are unmotivated?  My own parents were afraid of pushing their "gifted" child too much and so they didn't push at all...i didn't have to work very hard for the things I wanted/needed because it came pretty easily...I have children that need to work hard to get what they need and I don't know how to show them to, so I just reorganize their closets instead...I am constantly creating my own chaos (messy house) to show that I can clean it up faster and more efficiently than I had previously...

I need to just clean up my messes and walk away...not try to "one up" myself with how great I can organize all the shit we own...I don't need to live in a museum, but I do need to get rid of the chaos for my girls and start living my life as a better example...

Here's to being in charge : /

Friday, February 10, 2012

Aloha - no bueno : (

The hubby has been Hawaii again...and now instead of coming home tomorrow night he has to stay until Tuesday...

Did  I mention that my youngest came down with the stomach flu this past Sunday night?  Or that she gave it to me and I came down with it Tuesday night and held on to it thru a good part of Wednesday?  Or that he's coming back ON Valentines day?  At night?  Which just happens to be the day before my oldest's birthday and 2 days before we head over for some cabin "camping" and 12 year old birthday partying?!  And now I have to take my children with me to a baby shower at my mother in law's home (she pretty much hates me...she previous posts) because he won't be here to watch them and it's for my youngest sister in law that started the latest shit storm with aforementioned mother in law

Ok, I'm done with the I am going to start panicking a bit and possibly start shitting in my pants...again


Tuesday, January 31, 2012

Can you be too organized?!

I used to look at magazines and think - damn I will my house looked like that and then thought...professional photo shoot, big flippin house and then...discovered blogs...and saw that people really can and do live in Better Homes and Gardens type places...maybe...I am sure that they clean up the place and have some awesome dslr camera...and then I wanted my house to look like their house...

Now,  I just want a clean house, full of happy people, where my guests and family feel welcome and that no one will have a stroke if something spills, somebody pukes (my good friend has children that spontaneously vomit) or heaven forbid something gets moved out of place.

Gone are my ideas of a Pottery Barn Kids room for my's Trailer Park Trash to Treasure for us all the way!  We don't have a lot of money, but I'll be dammed if I am going to waste it on matching furniture and coordinating storage bins that the kids are never going use anyway...I'd rather get year long passes for the zoo...

Sunday, January 29, 2012

Cleaning up the house...ADD style

I just can't help's what I do...

I start to clean a room, find something that goes in another room, go to deliver said item and the next thing you know...I am cleaning THAT room...only to find something that needs to go upstairs...and you guessed it...go start cleaning upstairs...

I shutter to think of what would happen if shiny objects start having the same effect on me...

Saturday, January 28, 2012

Viva la Staycation...

We did this last spring in our little town and we are going to do it again this year : )

We have a facility with 7 man made lakes and on the last one there are 7 waterfront cabins and 3 that actually float in the water...we snagged 2 of the 3 floating cabins last year and this year we managed to snag all three!!!!  So now we have the entire floating dock to ourselves : )

The cabins are AWESOME!  They have a small bedroom with a queen size bed, full closet build in dresser and 19" flat screen t.v.  A full size bathroom with full size shower and build in storage shelves for all the luggage, towels, extras.  The kitchen has full size fridge, microwave, stove top, toaster, coffee maker and they supply pots and pans and plastic cups & utensils, paper plates, paper towels, dish soap, sponge, cutting board,etc.  The couch flips out to a bed, there is a small round table with 2 chairs in the "living room" and a 26" flat screen t.v. with a dvd player in it.  The back patio where you enter the cabin has a full size patio table with large chairs, full size grill with propane filled up and a little deck box you can sit has the life jackets inside - yes!  Life jackets - because...each floating cabin has it's own personal peddle boat moored to the back : )

I love it!

It's like camping, which we love to do - but with a shower, tv and peddle boat!!!

I feel like we brought more crap that we do when we tent camp, but I figure out it's just different crap...I don't have to bring the tent, sleeping bags and cooking stuff, but we do have to bring towels and sheets.  and we get to bring ice cream : )

It is a little get-a-way in the middle of suburbia, but it's nice to get away without the huge price tag...and it has a shower!

Thursday, January 26, 2012

If at first you don't succeed...

I am stay focused AND motivated...

The MASSIVE purge continues - I haven't been able to get to the downstairs craft closet yet...

But, I have  :

Cleaned out a 55 gallon trash bag FULL of stuff from the girl's rooms to be donated to thrift store - yes, you read that right!  It's one of those industrial strength black trash bags - you know the kind that when you see them pull one out in a movie - that someone is going to end up chopped up and put inside?!  They got rid of clothes, shoes, toys, puzzles, stuffed animals, dress up clothes, My Little Pony figures, ETC.!!!!1
So PROUD of them.  Usually little sister just wants to move big sister's stuff into her own room, but this time she was the main one to donate : )

Went thru most of my closet - I can now walk in it again : )

Sorted out paperwork/bill files for the new year and can actually GET TO THEM!!!  A key factor that has jacked me up before.

Went thru the kitchen cabinets and got rid of mismatched or unused plastic storage containers and gadgets that I don't use.  Although I did hold on to the bundt pan even tho I have never made a bundt's good to have goals...I am a pretty big baker, but mostly cookies and bars - cakes and pies are not exactly my gig...yet...

My main purpose/goal here is to be more realistic in exactly how much shit we own...I am done trying to cram 10 pounds of shit in my 5 pound bag...trying to get it down to around 7 pounds of shit...I live in southern California - I am not getting a bigger "bag" anytime soon : ( 

Tuesday, January 17, 2012

New CAR!!!!!!!!!

Just brought home my new (for me) car : )

An 08 Honda Pilot - pics tomorrow Mys ; )

Monday, January 16, 2012


So, it's official - I'm screwed...the verdict on my car running hot...partially blown head gasket...the price to fix...$1,300 (+$1,000 of other stuff i had been putting off) the value of my 1997 CRV with 170,000...$2,800 :(

Sooooo looks like I am in the market for a slightly used car, low mileage and low price...the car I want?!  A Honda Pilot...the chance of me finding one I can afford?!  Slim, but not impossible...

Not only had I not had a car payment in about 8 years, my car insurance and registration will go up considerably...and thanks to the morons in control of CA's government, they are trying to make up for a lot of the state's $ shortfall by increasing THE SHIT out of car registration and smog requirements - BOOO!!!  HISS!!!!

The semi good news is that my mechanic, who also buys cars at aution will give me $1,500 for mine in the condition it is in, I have a little bit of money in the bank and I do have my part time job...

But it just sucks that when things got a little easier and the financial noose not soooo tight...something's gotta break...oh well, beats walking...

Friday, January 13, 2012

Waiting for the 5 year old's "light bulb" moment

So she starts being "bratty"...screaming at her sister...went from playing to argument, no friction, just didn't get what she wanted and SCREAM!!!!!  So, I sent her to her room where I can hear her lamenting about how she's having a bad day, she has the worst sister ever, how I must hate her...not really realizing that HER behavior got her sent to her room OR that the minute she can keep it under control and her mouth shut...she can come out...She did come out earlier...immediately went to her sister and whispered "It's your fault" and got sent right back to her room...

Can't wait until she's a teenager...better start stocking up on prozac, Guinness and adult diapers now...

I may not make it folks...

Wednesday, January 11, 2012

Woulda, coulda, shoulda...time for a change

Yep, it's time

Monumental purge time...

All those crafts I said I was going to do...all those ideas I was going to copy...all those projects I was going to finish when I had more time...all those things I said I would find a place for-later...all those clothes that I said I would get back into one day ( velvet cigarette pants...even if I could...I wouldn't)...

It's time to say goodbye...

You have been a part of my life for so long you have become a part of my family, but it is time for you to move out of the nest and go make a home of your own (via the local thrift store)

I must go now and say goodbye...and call the salvation Army for a pick-up for Friday...gotta move fast...1st stop - Master Bedroom : )

Saturday, January 7, 2012

If at first you don't succeed...

I tried posting earlier in the week and hit some wrong thing on the keyboard and "poof" all gone...just   : (

So my resolutions, the encounter with the live rat and other fun stories will just have to wait...

Today I have a barfy baby that needs mommy snuggle time and a mommy that is supposed to be cleaning her room...decisions, decisions...back to bed with my baby : )

Monday, January 2, 2012

Back home where I belong :)

After being gone for 2 weeks and having a quite eventful trip back home I am ready to face 2012...later..

First I need to unpack, take down all the Christmas decorations and find new homes for all of our new stuff...but first...after a hard morning of getting kids off to school and hitting the stores for some food...I really, really, really need to play some bubble burst on my new nook tablet before I pick up the kids ; )