Wednesday, August 24, 2011

Slow burn

subject removed until public annoucement so I don't get killed!!!!!!

Ok, it's official on FB, so now I can re-post this about my sister in law


So I found out last night that the extended family is going to get a little bigger, which is awesome - whose doesn't love little babies?!  Uh...apparently my mother in law...

Actually this will be a VERY interesting 33  weeks and beyond, because for YEARS my mil has been "burned out" on kids...(she has 6 of her own and used to run an in-home daycare) I am guessing that when this little bundle of joy comes along from her youngest that the tide will turn.

So how will the grandchildren that are here and their parents handle this?!

Since the blowout last October my kids haven't seen a whole lot of her...she has asked for them a half dozen of times and they do see her before and after church (even during sometimes when she is teaching Sunday School) ...but the days when I would just take them over "just because" are gone.  I don't deny her access to them, but it's up to her and the hubby to schedule play dates at her house.

It's so hard to explain (or for people to understand) that I am not bitter, nor do I hold a grudge...I just accept things and people for who and what they are and if she is a person that doesn't like me and doesn't want to spend time with my kids...why would I want to be around her?  It takes energy to hold a grudge and quite frankly, it's not worth it.  If she were just a friend or a coworker - I would drop her like a hot rock...quickly and with much force.

I just really had hoped that my kids would have a close relationship with their local grandparents.  I grew up 1,800 miles away from any grandparents and I missed out.  My husband had a great relationship with his Granny (mil's mother - go figure)...my only saving grace at this point is that my parents ARE THE BEST GRANDPARENTS EVER!!!!!  Period, no question!  My kids spend more time with my parents that are 2,00 miles away than with the ones that live 3 miles away.  My oldest is 11 and has spent the night at the mil's 4 times...and 3 of those were when I had the little one 5 years ago and was in the hospital for 3 1/2 days.  And not once since.  My poor nephew lost his other grandma when he was 3 (he is now 13) and was just recently invited over for quality time with just him...it had been 7 years since his last one on one visit.

I don't want the new baby to be ignored by any stretch of the imagination, I am just worried that the other grand kids will get even less attention then they already do  :(  Maybe this will be the catalyst that will turn her around and she will realize what she's missing.  This family is full of wonderful, awesome, beautiful children and they are growing up way too fast.

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